Love Sonnets of an Office Boy

Last night I heard Jones astin' you to go / To see the opery next Thursday night, / And you said yes -- and he'll be settin' right / Beside you there all through the whole blamed show, / And you'll be touchin' him with your elbow, / And mebby he'll say things that tickle you / And buy a box of chock'luts for you, too, / And I'll not be around nor never know.

I wish I'd be the hero on the stage, / And you was the fair maiden that got stoled, / And he would be the villain that would hold / You frettin' like a song-bird in its cage -- / And then I'd come along and smash him one, / And you'd say: "Take me, dear, for what you done."