Hadrian the Seventh by Frederick Rolfe — Read

That aggregation of intellectually purblind and covetous dullards, who formed the socialistic sect of the King of England's subjects, presently began in their rough rude way to perpend the Pope of Rome. It had been a moot point with these discontented sentimentalists whether it would or would not be profitable to unite with French and Russian anarchy, and attain their ends that way: but one Julia, in the Salpinx screamed such excruciating tales about slaughtered French babies, that that was "off. " Also, it was remembered that a certain Comrade Dymoke, the only capable fighting man ever possessed by socialism, had been sponged upon for fifteen years by socialistic cadgers, sucked dry, ruined, and cast out, a victim of socialistic jealousy and treachery. In the plans laid for a Social Revolution, towards the end of the nineteenth century, that man had been named commander-in-chief. Now he was not available; and his place was vacant: for a military expert rarely errs into the purlieus of socialism.

But one thing had been done. The Social Democratic Federation had been induced, at the National "Liberal" Club, to coalesce with the Independent "Labour" Party. The coalition called itself the "Liblab Fellowship": the Salpinx and Reynards's were its organs; and a parcel of Bobs and Bens and Bills and Bounders its prophets. It concluded that it would score by toadying the Supreme Pontiff. The brainless monster of socialism always was hunting for a brain to direct its forces. By some perverted process, it arrived at the feeling that a Pope, Who could indite the "Epistle to All Christians," would be likely to lend Himself to the furtherance of its crude designs on other people's property. A week later, Cardinal Whitehead called Hadrian's attention to the current issue of the afore-named journals, which contained an "Open Letter to the Pope" praising the "enlightened humanitarianism" of His Holiness's recent utterance, inviting Him to have courage of His opinions, and to bring His "Epistle" to (what was called) "a logical conclusion" by a formal authoritative declaration of the doctrine of Equality. Popes, as a rule, do not notice "Open Letters. " Hadrian, however, had learned from the Pall Mall Gazette that the fashion was for copious artists in words to lecture the Roman Pontiff. He anticipated the being told by that elegant journal that He knew as much about the true inwardness of Catholicism as a cow knows of a clean shirt. But He privately was of opinion that more harm may be done by leaving some things unsaid. But, Love -- ! Was it possible that He could love, could like (even), hyenas who screeched such ditties as this on the same page: