Explore "A Perfect Woman Nobly Planned" by Franklin P. Adams on Textopian. Read with annotations and highlights.
(The man who wants the perfect wife should marry a / "stock-size. " She comes cheaper. -- _London Chronicle_.)
Ah, Myrtilla, woe and dear me! / Lackadaydee and alas! / What is this, I greatly fear me, / That has come to pass?
Craving, as I do, perfection, / Loathing anything like flaws, / I must raise a slight objection / To your building laws.
You are five one-and-a-quarter, / And your girth is thirty-three -- / Myrtie, you're a little shorter / Than you ought to be.
It is far from my intentions / Your proportions to describe, / Briefly, Myrtie, your dimensions / Do not seem to jibe.
Farewell, Myrt, for Ethelisa / Seems to be my certain fate, / Stupid? Silly? Sure, but she's a / Perfect thirty-eight.