The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman

From this moment I am to be considered as heir-apparent to the Shandy family -- -- -and it is from this point properly, that the story of my Life and my Opinions sets out. With all my hurry and precipitation, I have but been clearing the ground to raise the building -- -- -and such a building do I foresee it will turn out, as never was planned, and as never was executed since Adam. In less than five minutes I shall have thrown my pen into the fire, and the little drop of thick ink which is left remaining at the bottom of my ink-horn, after it -- I have but half a score things to do in the time -- -- -I have a thing to name -- -- -a thing to lament -- -- -a thing to hope -- -- -a thing to promise, and a thing to threaten -- I have a thing to suppose -- a thing to declare -- -- -a thing to conceal -- -- -a thing to choose, and a thing to pray for -- -- -- This chapter, therefore, I name the chapter of Things -- -- -- and my next chapter to it, that is, the first chapter of my next volume, if I live, shall be my chapter upon whiskers, in order to keep up some sort of connection in my works.

The thing I lament is, that things have crowded in so thick upon me, that I have not been able to get into that part of my work, towards which I have all the way looked forwards, with so much earnest desire; and that is the Campaigns, but especially the amours of my uncle Toby, the events of which are of so singular a nature, and so Cervantick a cast, that if I can so manage it, as to convey but the same impressions to every other brain, which the occurrences themselves excite in my own -- I will answer for it the book shall make its way in the world, much better than its master has done before it.