The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman

I beg the reader will assist me here, to wheel off my uncle Toby's ordnance behind the scenes, -- -- -to remove his sentry-box, and clear the theatre, if possible, of horn-works and half moons, and get the rest of his military apparatus out of the way; -- -- -that done, my dear friend Garrick, we'll snuff the candles bright, -- sweep the stage with a new broom, -- draw up the curtain, and exhibit my uncle Toby dressed in a new character, throughout which the world can have no idea how he will act: and yet, if pity be akin to love, -- and bravery no alien to it, you have seen enough of my uncle Toby in these, to trace these family likenesses betwixt the two passions (in case there is one) to your heart's content.

Vain science! thou assistest us in no case of this kind -- and thou puzzlest us in every one.