The Perils of Peregrine

The Perils of Peregrine by Christopher Ward

A weary, sore narrator sets out down a dewy lane after a highwayman's crust of bread and cheese, passing through a dark wood into a glade where a tinker recites verse he claims as original, though it echoes other men's lines. Soon a gypsy girl, fleeing three pursuers called Shadrach, Meschech and Abednego, seizes the narrator's hand and runs with him through the dripping wood to a highway. She reveals herself as the daughter of George Borrow, playing a role opposite his Lavengro, and mentions other old performers from that troupe, including a Tinker and Mrs. Herne, who plays Azor. At a wayside inn a dark, elegant man named Devereux snatches her into a carriage; the narrator steals a horse, cuts the traces with a knife, and halts the carriage, warning Devereux he will get his due later. Diana vanishes again. Walking on, the narrator fights off a bludgeon-wielding ruffian who blocks the lane, knocking him senseless, but loses sight of Diana once more. Finding her struggling with Devereux in a dingle, the narrator is stopped by a small, armed man who confronts Devereux under several names (Haredale, Marmaduke, Chester, Steerforth) before shooting him in the arm. This stranger identifies himself as the Earl of Wyvelstoke and serves tea before they press on. Shadrach, Meschech and Abednego ambush the group from the hedgerow; two bludgeons strike the narrator unconscious, and Diana disappears again. At dusk the narrator reaches a desolate barn, hears the three villains at a trapdoor, climbs a ladder and fights them off. He calls for Diana, proposes marriage, but she dismisses the line as misplaced and tells him to go to bed. He sleeps, and on waking finds Diana gone again.

By Christopher Ward · Genre: Parody, Satire, Metafiction · 10 chapters · 2,202 words

First lines

I awoke very sore from the gruelling adventures of the previous day. Being more hungry than was my wont, I quickly despatched the hunch of crusty bread and bit of cheese, which the highwayman had left me, and fared forth upon my journeying. My way lay adown a leafy lane, lined with hedgerows, gemmed with myriad sparkling dew drops, wherein birds sang a jubilant pean. So faring forth, I crossed a small rustic bridge spanning a murmurous brook and so into a dense wood, whose twisted, writhen branches and myriad leaves made a dim twilight, wherein a wind dank and chill moaned fitfully, very dismal to hear.

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adventure · picaresque · satire · parody · literary pastiche · Victorian era · English countryside · romantic pursuit · meta-fiction · archaic prose · mock-heroic · dark humor

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The Perils of Peregrine is listed on Textopian as a short story by Christopher Ward, dated Date unknown.

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