The Schartz-Metterklume Method
A woman named Lady Carlotta finds herself stranded at a small train station after missing her train. While waiting, she intervenes to help a struggling horse, which leads to her missing the train. She is soon approached by Mrs. Quabarl, who mistakenly believes Carlotta is the governess she hired, Miss Hope. Carlotta, embracing the role, concocts a story about her lost luggage and agrees to take on the position. Upon arriving at the Quabarl mansion, Carlotta learns about the children she is to teach: Claude, Wilfrid, Irene, and Viola. Mrs. Quabarl expresses her desire for the children to be engaged in their learning, particularly in history. Carlotta responds with confidence, claiming she will employ the Schartz-Metterklume method, which piques the interest of the Quabarls, despite their ignorance of it. During dinner, Carlotta's unconventional behavior and sharp wit unsettle Mrs. Quabarl, who is used to more compliant governesses. Carlotta's irreverent comments about their acquaintances and her knowledge of wine further disarm the family. The next day, she conducts a history lesson in an unorthodox manner, having the children reenact historical events, which leads to chaos when they attempt to capture local children as part of a lesson on the Sabine women. Mrs. Quabarl, horrified by the scene, demands Carlotta's dismissal. Carlotta, unfazed, informs her that she is not certain where she will be and suggests keeping her luggage until she can provide an address. She leaves the Quabarl household, leaving behind a trail of confusion and embarrassment. The genuine Miss Hope arrives later, revealing the mix-up, and the Quabarls are left to grapple with the realization that they were duped by Carlotta. The story concludes with Carlotta reflecting on her experience, indicating that her adventure was far from tiresome for her. The narrative explores themes of identity, authority, and the unconventional methods of education, all delivered with sharp humor and wit.
By Saki · First published 1911 · Genre: Comedy, Satire, Fiction · 2,118 words
First lines
Lady Carlotta stepped out on to the platform of the small wayside station and took a turn or two up and down its uninteresting length, to kill time till the train should be pleased to proceed on its way. Then, in the roadway beyond, she saw a horse struggling with a more than ample load, and a carter of the sort that seems to bear a sullen hatred against the animal that helps him to earn a living. Lady Carlotta promptly betook her to the roadway, and put rather a different complexion on the struggle. Certain of her acquaintances were wont to give her plentiful admonition as to the undesirability of interfering on behalf of a distressed animal, such interference being "none of her business. " Only once had she put the doctrine of noninterference into practice, when one of its most eloquent exponents had been besieged for nearly three hours in a small and extremely uncomfortable may-tree by an angry boar-pig, while Lady Carlotta, on the other side of the fence, had proceeded with the watercolour sketch she was engaged on, and refused to interfere between the boar and his prisoner. It is to be feared that she lost the friendship of the ultimately rescued lady. On this occasion she merely lost the train, which gave way to the first sign of impatience it had shown throughout the journey, and steamed off without her. She bore the desertion with philosophical indifference; her friends and relations were thoroughly well used to the fact of her luggage arriving without her. She wired a vague noncommittal message to her destination to say that she was coming on "by another train. " Before she had time to think what her next move might be she was confronted by an imposingly attired lady, who seemed to be taking a prolonged mental inventory of her clothes and looks.
What this Textopian page supports
The Schartz-Metterklume Method is listed on Textopian as a short story by Saki, dated 1911 CE.
This source record anchors work identity, reading entry points, and catalog context for checking claims about the work.
- Work type: Short story
- Author: Saki
- Date: 1911 CE
- Language: English
- Genres: Comedy, Satire, Fiction, Short Story, Social Commentary
- Length: 2,118 words
- Structure: 1 section, 41 paragraphs
- Reading fit: Fairly Difficult (10th-12th Grade)
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- Work identity for The Schartz-Metterklume Method by Saki
- Canonical title URL and first readable passage URL
- Genre and topic classification from the Textopian catalog
- Readability and classroom-planning context
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Discussion starters
- What should a reader notice first when entering The Schartz-Metterklume Method?
- How does this short story by Saki fit its genre, period, or classroom use?
- Where does Comedy first become important in the reading?
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Genres
- Comedy — The story employs humor through the absurdity of the governess's unconventional teaching methods and the reactions of the Quabarl family.
- Satire — It critiques social norms and the upper class's pretensions, particularly through the character of Lady Carlotta and her interactions with Mrs. Quabarl.
- Fiction — The narrative is a work of fiction that explores character dynamics and social commentary.
- Short Story — The text is concise and structured as a short story, focusing on a single incident and its humorous implications.
Tags
satire · humor · short stories · British literature · social commentary · absurdity · irony · character study · class distinction · wit · narrative style · dark comedy